Respect

n.

1. A feeling of appreciative, often deferential regard; esteem.
2. The state of being regarded with honor or esteem.
3. Willingness to show consideration or appreciation.
4. respects Polite expressions of consideration or deference: pay one's respects.

(Above definition is an extract from thefreedictionary.com)

Respect. A word often used, a word often misused and something many partially, and in some rare cases fully, lack. A word that is often confused with fear and something which positive effect many don’t often consider or even see. One word that I can use many words to describe, protect and share my opinion about. But it’s not only about my opinion. It’s also about what it really is. I’m going to try to be concise and terse in this very wide, variable-rich subject, so excuse my use of generalization.

Fear and Respect
Let’s face it; it’s not the same thing, not even close. On the other hand, it’s fairly easy to see why people seem to mix these two words up. Respect/Fear makes you seen, makes people hear you out, makes people do things for you, makes people stay by your side. So what’s the difference? Everything is the difference. Fear makes people see you because they dare not look away, Respect because they want to acknowledge your greatness. Fear makes people listen because they don’t dare to ignore you, Respect because they value your words. Fear makes people do what they are told as they don’t dare to meet the consequences, Respect because they wish to show their appreciation. Fear makes people wait for a moment to throw a coup, while Respect creates loyalty and those who respect you will defend you ‘til the end. Fear is created by someone that takes the power and fight to keep it; power is given to someone that has gained Respect already. Fear is offensive and achieved by force; Respect is humble and obtained by acquiescence. Fear is not synonymous with Respect, it’s antonymous.

It all comes back to you…
"What you give is what you get." An old cliché everyone is familiar with in words, but forgets or in disbelief chooses not to practice. As we grow up, we go through different mental stages. A very minimized, blunt and brief, subject relevant explanation -- First we don’t know that we think, thus not realize our existence. Secondly we think that we think, therefore knowing that we are; the creation of our ego. We then work to satisfy that ego, the only one we at that point know of. Thirdly we come to term that our ego is not the only ego and start to interact by those premises accordingly (“If I conform to mom’s will, she’ll hopefully conform to mine”). We develop that stage as we grow up, and the groups of people we interact with grow bigger. Some manage to take this one step further; to break the “we-and-them” bubble and realize we are all part of a larger system, a global network, a web that intersects all these different groups of people and that an action towards a person you first thought was in no way connected with you means something in the long run; either directly or, most likely, indirectly. When you pluck the string of a spider web, the whole web will vibrate, and the vibration you first sat in motion will come back to where it originated. You are part of this web that covers the earth, so set it in good vibration! What you give is what you get; give respect and respect you’ll be granted.

- Kaffe Myers, Septermber of 2007
Yeah, it's copyright allright

OT Community Spotlight

This was written for Trend Magazine, like many of my other articles. However, this one was written about a specific forum on IMVU.com.

In the bushes next to the trail leading to the infamous lair, which is recognized by many names unfit and/or irrelevant to mention at this time but is officially called ‘Off Topic’ (which will be abbreviated to ‘OT’ from this point on), a rustle can be heard.

“Stop it right there!” someone yells; a yell which seemingly originates from the same source as the rustle. Out of the bushes a dreadheaded, shirtless man, decorated with odd tattoos and piercings, appears. “Is it possible that you are headed towards the OT? And you have never been there before?” he asks. You nod silently, then, “As I suspected... Well, then I suggest you let me guide you through it. I promise you, you will thank me afterwards.” He motions, “Now, follow me – and don’t forget to listen closely to what I have to say if you wish your experience to be pleasant.” He starts walking towards the entrance and continues, “By the way…I’m Kaffe”.

An arm's length from the entrance, he stops. “Now, there are a few things you should know before we enter. Newcomers are most often not very well received by OT’s regular inhabitants and it is important to keep your tongue sharp until they’ve gotten used to your voice and presence. Small things can trigger them to bicker with you. Don't panic, this is only a test! You have to abide by the rules, not do as they do, in order to gain their respect. So I suggest that you read through these…”, he takes out two pamphlets from his back pocket; one reads ‘Forum Rules’ and the other ‘Terms of service’. “I bet you’ve already been given the second one, so sorry if I assume you’ve already thrown it away. You did? Don’t worry, ‘everyone’ does that”, he says as he smiles and winks. “Now, let’s move forward”.

Kaffe opens the door and as soon as the air from the inside and the outside connects, a massive and almost chaotic flow of voices is heard. “Don’t be scared, take a step forward”, Kaffe encourages. “This is were the fun begins!”

A few hesitant steps, and then, "Ok, don't take too many steps in. Start observing to begin with and skim through the pamphlets as I keep showing you around". Kaffe turns around "Hey, I said don't fret, my presentation is just so you enter with your mind calibrated correctly to be able to enjoy this place. There are a lot of wonderful people in here and there are many reasons why you should come here. Here you can discuss things you can't discuss anywhere else, everything from thoughts about something that has happened to you during the day to serious political discussions to funny videos you've seen. If you are seeking honesty, then know that in the OT people are not afraid to state their opinions. Here you'll meet people that you'd never meet anywhere else. It's a great place to kill time, chill out and have fun. Don't be surprised if you find yourself laughing your lungs out to some of the things that are said. Sarcasm and seriousness tweaked and twirled together in a way seldom experienced anywhere else! When you feel ready, take a step forward and make contact, experience, share and enjoy this place! Just remember that you are in control of what discussions you choose to enter and I can almost promise you that you will enjoy the wide variety of people that are here".

Kaffe takes up a creased and seemingly well-used hat with the word 'Moderator' printed on it, and places it on his head. "After all, it's about enjoying yourself in the end. Now, if you excuse me, I have to tend to some other duties. If you ever have any questions, just holler my name and I'll be there. Take care!"

He takes a deep breath, waves and then runs off into the crowd…

- Kaffe Myers 22 September 2007