BEEP! FLASH!

Words of Wisdom
Flaming Fury!

I usually preach good behavior and respect in various ways and forms, though this time my article will have a slightly different approach.

BEEP!!! BEEP!!! WARNING!!! WARNING!!! BEEP!!! BEEP!!!!
<Sirens go off and diodes start flashing in various different colors
in order to even let the blind see that something is going on>
[INSERT SPACE CACOPHONICAL LAZ0R BEAMS HERE]

Now that I have gotten your attention, you would probably expect to read some words of importance here, like on global warming or the imminent end of the world. Unfortunately, you usually aren't so lucky. As a matter of fact, this article will just be a rant about a certain thing that annoys the life out of me, that makes me want to kick and scream, that makes me want to get a sledge hammer and crush the source of this annoyance to bits so tiny you’d need a microscope to see them. From bottom and up, here we go…
Larry drives his car to work. It’s a beautiful day and he is feeling ok. The car runs smoothly and the radio plays good music. Of course, as everything is ok, he flashes with the headlights on his car every 3 seconds. Also, every time he makes a successful turn, makes a full stop, starts from a full stop, goes through a roundabout or spots a pair of legs he honks his horn. When things are going well, why not let the world know about it?
Larry, you’re an idiot.

At the West Bestern Hotel California, the service bell automatically rings a few times every ten seconds at a steady pace. In order to get the hotel personnel’s attention you will have to make the service bell stop going off and attention will be drawn to you. Someone thought this was a very bright idea.
Sorry, it’s stoopid and the thought of it makes me want to smash skulls.
Of course, both Larry and the West Bestern Hotel California don’t exist outside my imagination (or so I sincerely hope) but there was a point in writing what I just did. It would most definitely be a bad idea to act like Mr. Example-Larry or install a service clock in a hotel or a similar environment as the one mentioned in the section above and I’m pretty sure all who read this feel the same.
Do me a favor and answer a few questions:

• Why do most cell phones blink when everything is perfectly normal?
• Why do most anti-virus programs beep and alert just to tell that the database got updated without any technical issues along the way?
• Why do laptop diodes blink when you are not using it so you will have to hide it or cover it with something in order to not lose your mind over the fact that something is blinking when you just want to rest but can’t because of the preferably blue diode for some reason not apparent to a mind burdened with a somewhat logical way of thinking, wish to announce that the laptop currently is not in use? AAAAAAAAAARGH!

Every machine and program seem to crave your attention for nothing. Trying to make people aware of everything (including nothing) just ends with people not really noticing anything. Bombing for peace… Good job, tech world.

- Kaffe Myers for the May issue of Trend Mag, 2008